Kick-ass NASA? Or nu-metal NASA?

NASA decided to go old-school, New Wave of Grecian Heavy Metal by naming their new spacecraft Orion after the instrumental on Metallica’s epic Master of Puppets.

Now, air-guitar along with me: Chunk, chuck, chunk-chunk Chunk. Chunk, Chunk Chunk Chunk. Chunk, chunk-chunk Chunk. Chunk.
Does this new name mark the return of the balls-to-the-wall, thrash metal NASA of the 60s? Or will NASA continue to be the therapy-coddled rehab patient of the 90s and 00s that just rehashes the same show launch after launch with nothing much to show?

Let’s hope NASA returns to being a master of spaceflight – no longer a puppet of budget cuts and unfounded presidential decrees. You know, the NASA every high school boy dreamed about being a part of, before all the “Behind the Rocket” specials on cable TV, the fights to keep other countries from stealing NASA technology without even paying for it and the dreaded Lollapalooza implosion of 1996. (Whoops – make that the Challenger explosion of 1986. What the hell am I writing about? Metallica?)

Master of Puppets was released in 1986, a pivotal year for both Metallica and NASA. The album was Metallica’s apogee and the tragic, deadly end of their tour in support of the record began the band’s slide back down to mere mortality.

1986 was a low point for NASA, and not only because the agency lost an entire crew when the Challenger blew up during lunchtime. Rather, the fact that NASA was sending a teacher into space as a publicity stunt said a little bit more about the pitful state of America’s space mission. Truth laid bare, there was no longer a scientific reason for NASA to exist.

Truthfully, the Orion is another Federal boondoggle that keeps engineers and scientists working in towns like Cleveland. Working, instead of being unemployed like most everyone else who used to build shiny metal craft that went fast. As sources will point out, spacecraft for people don’t help us explore the universe.

Another fun fact about our shiny new speed demon: According to greek mythology, Orion died being stung by a Scorpion. Watch out for a flying hunk of German power metal, brave Orion!

Thanks to the great font site dafont.com for the assist.